Running up the hill in my mind. I scream at the top to make it stop. Simultaneously I’m yelling “make it stop”.

Yes I know life could be this hard. My 20’s my gods.

I stand in the sun while it rains. Going out every night just be to be entertained.

My stars, all this living makes me feel insane. But I did it, well doing it. I must admit there is some regret.

With every choice I’m not sure if this right. Am I smart enough to know? Or will my naiveness cause good things to erode. Who the hell actually knows?

Give me another drink so I can dance all night on my feet. I won’t know I’m dead if this is how I’m supposed to be.

But the stars always tell me “Just be free”. Climbing up another mountain I will sing sweet victory.

As this messiness is something that I’m coming to enjoy.

I will be here for the highs and falls. Everything that comes with it all.

I must embrace me and all my complexities.

Til it’s my time to go. When my soul is restored back into the cosmic flow.

Being back with the stars in the sky. Looking at life together with the most high.

Whomever that is. But til then I must be my own light in all the darkness. Even if that is just dancing around in my silly apartment.

I will not have it figured out.

Not for a while. The best and only thing I can do is stand up and smile.

Being one’s self can be such an embarrassment. Yet I know it is a life absent of resentment.

So go ahead life.

Laugh and make fun. But come join me while I cry and dance in the sun.

I’m okay with not being number one. My day will soon come.

Til then I will falter and win. Relishing my youth as a new era begins.